Saturday, March 12, 2011

Looking Back.

It is really hard to forget someone whom you loved so much. I am just sixteen. I am very young to feel this kind of feeling. But it is really inevitable.  Love comes at times when you least expect it.

I know what love is, because I had felt it before. I spent the thirteen months and 20 days of my life having him as my 'boy'. We were happy before. He made me feel that I'm special to him.
But suddenly, he said that he doesn't love me anymore, that he wants me to let him go. That was really heartbreaking. I wasn't expecting him tell me something like that. Until now, I cant believe that we're already through. At first I found it hard to accept. I don’t know what to do, I was really clueless, given that he didn't tell me the reason why he made that kind of decision. 

Move on is what they always tell me. It is indeed easy to say that I can move on with my life and eventually forget him. 'Start living your life without that guy'. You know, in reality, it is really difficult to move on, and it brings so much pain. I cant stand the painful feeling that lingers in my soul. Where is his promise of forever? Why did he leave me? What is the reason why he left me hanging like this? Is it possible to win him back? I thought he's the one for me, I thought he's unlike any other. But now he's gone, he left me broken.

But you know, I realized that nothing's really permanent in this world. That even the sunrise has its sunset. Every good thing comes to an end. Everything happens for a reason. That's why, though it is really hard to accept this bitter fact, I am trying to make myself happy. I am trying to forget this episode in my life. I hate hearing sad songs, because such bring back old memories with him. I am intermingling  with my friends more often now so that he'll not cross my mind anymore. Yes, I admit that sometimes I still picture his image in my mind. But, I'm rubbing it out, together with our memories.

God let this happen because He has a good reason, He has a certain purpose. If we're really for each other, God will make a way for us to bump into each other again. But if not, God will allow me to meet the one that will not hurt me the way he hurt me. Maybe it is not yet the right time for me to love again.
I need more weeks, more months, or more years to heal the wound that he caused.
It is not easy, and it will never be. But I believe that this too shall to pass. ;)

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